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Money, Emotions & Patterns What's in Your Past Might be Affecting Your "Present You"

This guest post was contributed by SOS member and speaker Keary Ann Bixby, Founder of ROOTED+WINGED, who works in creating balanced living through a Physical, Emotional, Mental, and Spiritual platform.

Have you ever stopped and wondered where your emotions around money might have begun? I'm sure most of you have heard, "the harder you work, the more money you make" or "money doesn't grow on trees". Maybe growing up, your parents or caretakers never talked about money at all. When I think back, I can remember my parent's emotions around money. They were always happier when they had financial stability and more anxious and irritable when money was scarce. How had these parental patterns affected my economic outlook and approach today?

As a wellness guide, I work with clients on old patterns and defaults all the time. Taking the time to become more aware of how they operate and where their stored emotions are can help with growth, goal setting, even clearing and healing trauma. However, I hadn't taken the time to dive deep into my generational money patterns, more specific to my own family, until recently. It made a world of difference!

My whole world was turned upside down in 2020...

especially financially, when the pandemic forced my Pilates studio to close. After five months of hoping we could pick up where we left off, I resigned to the fact that it would be many more months, even years before I would be able to feel financially stable in my industry. I had spent the last 16 years running a successful business, but now an incredible time of uncertainty was bearing down, and I could feel emotions and patterns around money surfacing.

At the time, I wasn't sure where these emotions were coming from or why they affected me so much. I began to get depressed after every shopping trip. Every item I grabbed became a story filled with reasons I didn't need to purchase it during that shopping trip. I had anxiety just thinking about grocery shopping and would spend hours trying to find cheaper brands or promo codes for online items.

I decided to take a step back and do some inner work. I had savings and had always been fairly decent with my money. I knew it was a stressful time, but I would be able to pull through until my industry re-opened. There was a global pandemic! No amount of savings and planning could have prepared me for what Covid did to the fitness industry, and I had accepted that.

Ways to recognize if you have this scarcity mindset:

● Believing the situation is everlasting

● Finding thoughts and words of scarcity come more often, even daily

● Forgoing generosity to others and yourself

● Overindulgence, when we use it to create pleasure during an uncomfortable time

So, during this intense time, with so much energy focused on jobs, income, and money, take notice if unfamiliar issues and feelings begin to arise. Start with your inherited beliefs from parents and grandparents. Check their patterns. These ideas surrounding money most likely aren't your own. Once you can see this truth and how it began long before you, you can break free of old habits and create your own positive relationship with money.

Ways to relieve scarcity mindset:

  • Surround yourself with those who have a prosperous mindset

  • Gratitude practice for what you do have

  • Watch your thoughts by journaling or "brain dumping" to see what negativity you might be holding on to

  • Meditate, creating space for awareness allowing room for all opportunity you might miss when focusing all attention on one specific thought

After researching online, I began to identify different limiting money beliefs deeply embedded in my parent's (and their parent's) history. One, in particular, was the "scarcity mindset". As I mentioned above, when money was flowing, my parents were happy. However, for many years we were a family of six, using up the entirety of our family's earnings each month. I found I had so many clear family memories surrounding money and the feelings it perpetuated. I can remember my Mom sending me up to the check deposit box (yeah, remember those!) in a hurry to make sure the check got deposited on time, so nothing bounced. This mindset can create great saving habits but can also produce an overwhelming feeling that there is never enough. If this is the case, the fear surrounding money and lack thereof creates undue stress and worry. I inherited this fear, and I now found it daily in my current situation.

Changing your defaults or old patterns around money takes time. However, slowly moving your thoughts from negative to neutral and then positive can create an opportunity not only to remove yourself from a scarcity mindset but allow for a new abundance mindset to settle in.

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