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Battling the Insecurity Villian

Writer's picture: Nancy A ShenkerNancy A Shenker

This month, I hosted an intimate gathering for a group of professional women in Arizona, in keeping with our theme of building confidence at any age.


We were prompted to focus on ONE superpower that distinguishes us from others and helps us "save the world" (or at least a small corner of it).


We talked honestly about our kryptonite, too—the things that sap us of our self-assuredness and send us retreating to the Fortress of Solitude. And we all walked away with a souvenir cape, to remind us that a wonder woman lives within each of us.


But enough comic book analogies...


I was a shy and insecure little girl.


Even when I ended up working for a major financial institution and started my own

consultancy, I suffered constantly from imposter syndrome.


My anxiety level soared whenever I had to present to senior management or speak to a large group.


Social media can be a confidence villain. If you allow yourself to believe the glamorous posts about career success, hot bodies, and romance, you can easily be triggered if you are in a confidence slump.


And, although I've overcome many of my insecurities, I'm acutely aware of those situations and people who serve as a trigger and immediately make me feel "less than." I will be fighting the insecurity villain throughout my life. But now I respond is changing.


How do you battle the demon?

  1. Remind yourself of that superpower every day and assume the "superhero stance" in your head whenever you're in a tough situation.

  2. Surround yourself with people who uplift you and give you frank and caring feedback. Consider mentoring others and reminding yourself how much you DO know while supporting another professional.

  3. Don't stay in a job or other role that "feeds the demon." Toxic bosses and clients, mean colleagues and other detractors are unhealthy.

  4. Show yourself grace when learning a new skill or working towards a goal.

  5. Stop comparing yourself to other people.


The villain may always be lurking right outside your door. But they're no match for the mighty woman you're becoming!


Join us in Hollywood!


I confess. The"90 Day Fiance" series is a guilty pleasure. Watching Shaun Robinson tackle difficult personalities and situations at the "tell-all" gives me ideas for handling situations I face in my own (less dramatic) life and interviewing challenging sources for my writing gigs.


You'll be supporting a great non-profit as you learn from Robinson and Faye Resnick how they built their careers and what they do to fight their confidence demons!













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