A Single Mother of Two Shares Her Caregiving Story (and Tips)

Kim Ely is a Physician Assistant, independent patient advocate, and Founder of Human Kind Advocates. She has faced a number of her own challenges, balancing her work and new business venture with her responsibilities as a mother and caregiver.

She was bold and honest enough to share her story with SOS. We appreciate her candor and hope she can inspire many of our readers who are facing their own unique caregiving juggling acts.

You mentioned that you're a single mom of two with a special needs child. What types of challenges does that present in terms of work?

"My oldest daughter (now 11) has severe ADHD, severe dyslexia, dysgraphia, and anxiety. She was diagnosed at 7 years old. I believe she’s also on the spectrum but not yet diagnosed. She’s required a tremendous amount of support over the last 4 years but has done very well with both in-school and at-home tutoring, occupational therapy, psychiatry, and talk therapy, amongst other types of support.

That has made full-time work very challenging. Two years ago, I transitioned to an 80% schedule so that I have every Wednesday off for her appointments. Prior to this, it was nearly impossible for me to make it to appointments with her. I feel very lucky to have a little flexibility, but it also comes with a pay cut. Not to mention that most of these services are out of pocket. It has been a journey!

Part of my goal with advocacy is that it can be done without me being physically present in my hospital-based clinic. I can and have worked with clients from home, on the road, on vacation, or in the waiting room for appointments with my kiddo. I love this work's portability and entrepreneurship's challenges and possibilities. I also think that I learned to be a better provider and advocate having had to experience this side of the medical and mental health worlds."

How do you make time for yourself?

"I meditate whenever and wherever I can. I meditate—even if only for a single minute—every morning and whenever I need a reset. During my lunch breaks, I often walk in a nearby nature preserve for some fresh air, movement, and nature therapy. I often journal and try to be super intentional about my mental state on any given day and how I can refocus if I’m not in the best frame of mind."

What advice could you give to other women in your situation?

"Find support in friends who have dealt or are dealing with similar challenges or issues. There’s so much power in connection. And, that the small moments in between activities are always available as a means to rest and reset. Even if that’s just an extra deep breath or two from the car in the driveway before walking into the house."

Anything else you'd like to share?

"My advocacy business is meant to fill in the gaps that our current medical system is lacking. Even the most resourced and well-educated patients are sometimes left alone to find their way through complicated illnesses or challenges. It’s even more devastating when it happens to a patient lacking medical literacy and resources.

My job is to help them navigate a complicated system and offer education and support with kindness and compassion. It’s again that connection piece that matters so deeply to me. I want everyone to have someone in their corner, someone to lean on and someone rooting for them the whole way."

Do you have your own story about balancing caregiving with career-building? We'd love to share it so that all SOS readers can build their own support networks! Please get in touch.

(Because your life is already super-complicated, we'll even help write the story for you!)